Keep It On Ice

Yesterday I had a meeting with World Vision in Kolda. Today my Mom sent me an email asking how it went - because she is wonderful like that. This was my response... perhaps not what she was expecting:

I went to World Vision yesterday morning. I got there 15 minutes early for an 8:00am meeting (a genetic disorder I cannot drop to save my life and one which is entirely under appreciated in this country). I waited. I called my guy. The meeting had been moved to 10am.

I went to town and did some shopping in the market. Walked back.
I walked in to my guy's office and he offered me an ice cold Coke. To be cordial, I accepted. I don't like soda.

He then proceeded to dance an incredible jig around the purpose of the meeting - a meeting which he called - which was my health poste.
I refused (I promise I was polite about it) to talk about anything else until I knew what was up with my health poste. He did a few more spins and twirls before he stopped dancing and threw a big fat wrench in my life by telling me that the reason he was in Dakar for the last two weeks was because their head office in Germany has to cut budgets by almost 1/3 for the upcoming year and this means it is incredibly likely they can no longer fund my health poste.

I stopped drinking my Coke.
I also stopped breathing and sort of threw up in my mouth.

I suddenly knew exactly why he had wanted to get through his 5 point agenda before descending upon this topic, but there was no turning back. I didn't turn into fussy girl. I didn't turn into mad girl. I was just absolutely speechless. I felt utterly helpless.

For the last 12 months of my life I have been cultivating this relationship so that something like this wouldn't happen, couldn't happen. For the last 12 months I have put my faith in a faith-based organization to come through for my village - to not let them down AGAIN. And now, as my heart sank into my stomach, my mind kicked into overdrive trying to figure out how I was possibly going to raise the almost $18,000 I would need to fulfill the promise I made to my villagers - which was that I was not leaving this country until the health poste was open.
THOSE IS BIG WORDS!
And I was and still am prepared to back them up, but it had never even crossed my mind that I would have to do it alone. I have a freaking contract with World Vision for crying out loud. I played by the rules and did everything asked of me.
This can't be happening.

My guy had no idea what to do or say. He called in his boss who said the same things. They started pulling up and printing off emails showing me that it was not their fault that budgets were being cut in the health sector. And I just sat there. I had no idea what to do.

And so I cried.

Only this time (for those of you who recall my previous strategic implementation of crying) the tears were real. I felt sorry for myself. I felt heart-broken for my village. I suddenly missed my family. And once I even glanced at that slippery slope I was tumbling toward the fact that my thighs are too big and I shouldn't have colored my hair in 10th grade - you know, all things relevant. I truly felt like my world crashed. So they said in unison that there was one final conference call later that day and that I should come back tomorrow morning to see what comes of it.

Sure. I'll just got home, get some rest and come back tomorrow. No problem... except there was a big problem!

I was handling it fine, albeit a bit dazed, until the gas ran out on the stove last night as I was cooking eggs, and I lost it. Game over. Tears. Snot. More tears. It wasn't pretty.
I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do next if the money was gone and I am really bad at not having answers.

So I didn't sleep, got up early to try and remedy the dark circles and puffy bags I was rocking under my eyes from exhaustion and hysterics, and went to World Vision.

I walked into my guy's office and he... offered me an effing ice cold Coke!

My heart sank again. Not a Coke! The last time I got a Coke my world disintegrated.
Then he told me I was going to cry again - not a good prediction to come from a professional partner.
And then he told me they were able to borrow from another section of the budget. My health poste was going to be fine. And so was I.
Contractors, masons and World Vision will be in my village Saturday at 11am to make a final list of needed materials and start work next week. Period.
I think I slightly offended them by not crying this time around. I told them I was too emotionally exhausted. I think they were too.
And the next time I drink an ice cold Coke will be... NEVER!

And that is how my meeting went with World Vision yesterday:) Thank you for asking.