On the "Road" Again

This video represents approximately 30 seconds of a 15 hour ride en route to my site. Nuf said.

What identity?

So for those of you who may have forgotten or never known, my name is Mary Margaret. This is a name that for the last 24 years I have used exclusively on official documents. To the rest of the world I am Maggie. The Peace Corps, being an United States government program, requires a few pieces of paperwork and subsequently, I suddenly became Mary to the other people in my training group who didn't know me as anything else. I still forget to respond to Mary sometimes like the first day of class when they take roll and this girl doesn't say 'here'.
And as I started to get used to this new phenomenon that is my name, I was given a Senegalese name: Jenaba Balde. For several weeks this name was the only thing I could recognize coming out of my host family's mouth (that has since gotten much better)!
In just a few days I will go to my site and receive my permanent Senegalese name.
All this I can handle and even laugh at, but yesterday I was mistaken for a buillion cube. Yes, my American name of preference, Maggie, is coincidently similar to the seasoning of preference in Senegal, Maggi cubes. The Maggi brand of buillion cubes is easily the most recognizable brand in Senegal - not even Adidas has a leg up on this one. Their yellow and red logo is plastered everywhere and they use the seasoning in almost every meal they make. It is more than a staple of Senegalese cooking, it is a symbol of modern living for this culture.
So yesterday, a man visiting from a small village walked up to me during training while I had on a name tag and asked me - in Pulaar - if I liked Maggi. And in perfect Pulaar, having abandoned all semblance of self, I made my first real joke in another language: A linguistic break through and personal realization that in a third world country it doesn't matter what they call you and sharing a name with a sodium-heavy seasoning may just be the break I have been looking for.

Outta Left Field

Let me preface this moment with a fact: all emotions are exponentially magnified in Senegal. It is possible to be indifferent at times, but when your body gets an inkling of something specific, it is all or nothing. One does not shed A tear, one does not slightly giggle and one does not get somewhat annoyed... or maybe that's just me! This past week in language class we learned the future tense of verbs; a useful skill. And I was soooooo proud of myself for saying in Pulaar I have one niece (present tense) but I will have two nieces in about 20 days (future). I know, it's tricky. I thought this was a harmless sentence.
One more fact: my niece is the coolest person I know. That is not saying anything less about the rest of you, she is just actually that cool.
So later that night I stayed up late reading and at about 12:30, as I was flipping the page, I suddenly internalized the sentence I had previously constructed that day and absolutely lost it. It was the kind of choking, coughing, gasping gross sob that really makes you feel pathetic. I could only pray that my family did not hear me because I was not going to be able to spit it out in English what my problem was, let alone Pulaar.
And two minutes later, I was done. Like I said, uncontrollable emotion, or none at all. I realized in one single moment that not only am I missing out on two amazing years of Evie's life, but the new baby (recently dubbed "baby without a name") will not even know me. These were all things I had known, but it doesn't make it any easier.
The moral of this story should be that it is wonderful to know you have people who love you. But to be honest, I am just as sad for everyone who hasn't met Eve. Does that make me a bad person, or an overzealous aunt?... or both!
So to Evie's parents, all the grandparents, her many aunts and all the other fortunate people to get to see her before I do, give her a hug and when the new baby comes remind her that aunt Boggie will be 'right back!'